Xmas - karaoke text
Ho Ho Ho Ho!There ain´t nothing more depressing than a pine treeGussied up with candy canes and ballsThose carolers have kept me up for hoursIt´s Merry Christmas seeping through my wallsNow I´m no wiccan commie nut or nothingBut there´s one damn holiday that I can´t standIt ain´t Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April FoolsBut it´ll surely make a fool out of every manHAIf I ain´t drunk then it ain´t ChristmasYou know where to stick those jingle bellsIf I ain´t hammered it ain´t hanukkahAnd all you motherfuckers go to hellIf I ain´t cockeyed then it ain´t KwanzaaJoy to the world and jack and cokeIf I ain´t drunk then it ain´t ChristmasCause I ain´t never anything but brokeNow every year the malls are just a madhouseFull of empty pockets, thoughts and smilesJust the smell of Eggnog makes me vomitAnd those colored lights are fucking infantileI think we collectively as a peopleShould rise against this corporate jolly noiseAnd tell the world:''Let´s buy some piece and quiet for a change''Before we spend it all on fucking toys.HASo if I ain´t drunk then it ain´t ChristmasYou know where to stick those jingle bellsIf I ain´t hammered it ain´t hanukkahFa la la la la go fuck yourself!If I ain´t cockeyed it ain´t KwanzaaJoy to the world of getting stonedIf I ain´t drunk then it ain´t ChristmasSo leave this god damn scrooge the fuck alone.HA!Merry fucking Christmas!
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